Distractions

Published by

andiemosley

January 24, 2025

I wrote this in 2017 amidst the first time that man was in office. It’s fitting for now as well. My darkness has returned. My distractions look more like Community and nonprofit board appointments. But they’re still there. But now, because of him, they’re just not working.

I coast through life on distractions. Temporary, thoughtless pleasures like binging The Office on Netflix for the 20th (not an exaggeration) time create the illusion of contentment. I drown my thoughts in extensive commitments that drive me to exhaustion. Then without any prompt, it all changes. The darkness (my dramatic name for it) returns.

My suppressed thoughts and emotions rise to the surface all at once. Shadows encompass my brain. Tears arrive uninvited. The distractions no longer do their job. Movies play in my head of all of my shortcomings and awkward encounters. I want them to stop but I’m looking for a switch in pitch black night. Everyone is my enemy. Every weekend a reminder that I am alone.

Sirens resound as my thoughts switch to the future. Tomorrow, a commitment I will not keep. Next week, one I begrudgingly must.

Bring back the distractions.

One response to “Distractions”

Brandon

March 30, 2017

Good show 😛

Reply

Andie

Autistic. Uncomfortably self-aware. Politically exploring (further left than liberal, but still figuring it out). Painfully compassionate. Angered easily by injustice and lack of critical thinking. Proud Millennial. Appalachia born, midwest inhabitant.

With everything going on in the world, I’m overwhelmed with thoughts. I am writing them down to get them out there. If nobody reads this, I will have at least had some catharsis. But maybe you will read some of my thoughts and see things in a new perspective, or at least know you’re not alone.

Andie Mosley

Distractions

One response to “Distractions”